Working It Out

On December 28 2010, I signed up for a gym membership and personal training. I have committed to a pattern of training two days a week, water aerobics three times a week and one or two independent workouts per week. It is a commitment of time, energy and mental work. I have always eaten a pretty healthy diet of home prepared whole foods, so the dietary changes for me have been more about increasing a good thing than cutting out bad choices. I have chosen to skip some treats, but I’ve had a few slices of birthday cake over the past few months.

My goals are to increase my strength, stamina and of course weight loss. I have accomplished these goals to some degree. I have seen the added benefit of more restful sleep with less apnea (according to James). I began my journey at 222 pounds, a weight that has been stable over many years. This morning my scale read 202, a big wow for me. I know ladies don’t usually share their weight numbers, but it’s not like it’s a secret to anyone who looks at me. Just like fibbing about my age won’t really make you think I’m 29. I always thought lying that I’m older would be more sensible.

As I have reached the grand old age of 52 ½ years, I know that my aging body needs to be strong and healthy to carry me successfully into the golden years. I prefer to avoid diabetes, osteoporosis, cardiac weakness with associated risk of heart attack and stroke, respiratory problems and injuries from falls. I don’t know my desired goal weight because I hope to build enough lean muscle to be quite dense and compact, so my weight number may not be low. Having never been successful at weight loss in the past, this journey is a thrill to me. It amazes me to see results from my efforts, and while the work is hard, it is fun at the same time.
This is my year. I am diligently working on myself and re-creating my lifestyle to endure for the rest of my life. I hope to be of service to my family and the community for many years to some.

Some things I have learned:
Don’t go hungry. Some favorite bits that have helped me on this journey are: Laughing Cow Cheese, RY Vita crackers, apples, apples and more apples, kiwifruits, herb salads, lots of homemade soup, homemade whole wheat low sugar low fat muffins, deli smoked turkey, Lara Bars, Kids Cliff Bars, and dark chocolate squares, peppermint tea, chamomile tea, Crystal Pure (stevia sweetened beverages [I don’t use artificial sweeteners].

Stand and sit tall, always be aware of body alignment. Keep your shoulders up and back, tummy in, tailbone tucked. My chiropractor told me to keep my jaw back and my head against the headrest when I drive. These practices have helped me be more aware of my body and to feel the real me inside the accumulated fat.
To burn past a plateau, increase the intensity of your workout (reach farther, do less weight and more repetitions, jump or step higher etc.), increase the duration of your workout (40 minutes instead of 30), or increase the frequency of your workout (more times per week, or even more times per day)

Reward yourself for hard work:
Special shampoo and conditioner (Paul Mitchell Lavender Mint YYUUMM), new pretty underwear (mine was falling off) a new book, note cards, new swimsuit, out to a movie (Jane Eyre!!!)

I love my journey and feel hopeful about my healthy future. I choose not to compare myself to others. Everyone has their own way of accomplishing their goals. I do however, find joy in encouraging others on their healthy journeys.

I did have one thing happen that was enlightening about my inner self. As the numbers on the scale began to drop, I developed a negative attitude and sense of foreboding. I felt like something bad was about to happen to me. I started to hold back thinking I might injure myself during my workout. I began to pray about this strange sense and came to a realization that the last time I engaged in a health change program, it all came to a screeching halt when our family experienced what we refer to as “The Boogie Man.” We had a drunk and drugged man break into our home and threaten our family with a gun. Even though the break in was resolved (after 11 minutes) it paralyzed us. We were shaken in many ways and all of us were changed forever. Healthy living, exercise and careful diet were exchanged for counseling, fear, sleeplessness and troubled children.

That was then and this is now. Receiving this answer to my prayers helped me realize, I can press forward without fear. Our family is strong. Our children are happy and we do not need to live in fear. I can turn to my Savior for help on any journey I choose and He will be there for me.

James and I are going on a cruise to Hawaii this spring. I look forward to the ideal opportunity to have great food choices (cooked by someone else) and access to a gym, a pool and exercise classes with no other responsibilities.
I thank all of you who have offered your support to me on my journey. Every kind word really helps me. Thanks for helping me “work it out.”

Seeking Abundance In the Midst of the Abundance

This post is a list (in case you hadn't noticed)of things I would like to accomplish and may or may not do in the near future. I love the abundance of my life...so full to the brim of goodness, with so many opportunities. I hope that by getting these things out of my head, I will be more inclined to do some of them.

*Sew pretty spring clothes for myself
*Make baby blankets for the newcomers
*Make bigger kid blankets for the siblings of the newcomers
*Study to my heart's content, not just read my scriptures
*Set a beautiful table for the weekly family dinner and have the kitchen clean in the background
*Write heartfelt letters to James every week
*Fly to Texas to visit my sister and tell her how much I love her
*Visit my mom and do some chores for her and have her tell me how she adores me (because she always does whenever I visit)
*Talk to my grand-daughters on the phone (and Skype with Darby because she can't hear the phone)and share my favorite books with them
*Figure out the difference between stuff I need to save for future use and junk that impedes my life
*Go to the zoo whenever my nanny babies say "Let's go to the zoo today."
*Eat at restaurants that are as cool as Poppy, but not as far away, and maybe not as expensive
*Write thank-you notes to all of the people who speak in Sacrament Meeting every week to let them know how much each one inspires me
*Return to having soaring music playing in my home all of the time
*Do more with my sisters
*Make the pretty paper mobiles I have in my head, I love them as much as the dangly earrings I wear
*When I make a pot of herb tea, drink it (lots of times I pour it down the drain the next day)
*Read more old poetry
*Be there for my local children
*Write to my distant children
*Go to Okinawa before Christopher is finished there
*Re-frame lots of family photos and hang them on my dining room wall
*Stencil the places in the house that got painted over. I know stencilling is passe, but I don't care
*Get together with long lost friends, Andrea Mathison, Suzanne Glazier, Debbie Devine, Dona Thaut, Ed and Tanya Bessette etc...
*Find several multi billionaires to finance my bright idea that will save the world (no kidding, I really do have a great idea, but no business savvy, time or money to make it happen)

Has my list prompted you to consider your own list? Share it with me either here or by e-mail erinrose8@comcast.net

Happy seeking!

Stop and Smell the Roses or Look at the Rocks....or Rescued

The morning had gone well. I had accomplished so much at home I was proud of myself. I wanted to get Noel's birthday gift, wrap it and ship it at the Post Office, which would close in an hour and a half, plenty of time. I parked in the lot of the store. I stepped out of my granny van, set my purse on the driver's seat, pulled my sweater across from the passenger seat, (begin slow motion action at this point) almost dropped the sweater in a puddle, made a lunge for the sweater, knocked the van door with my elbow, door closed and locked. Hmmm. I had my bluetooth in my ear, but the phone and my keys and my open purse (displaying wallet and credit card to all passersby) were in the locked van.

James is a big proponent of hide-a-key. I'm sure there must be one on my van, but do I want to lie down in the rainy parking lot to search underneath for the little black box? Not if I don't have to. I used voice commands to call James. Something about his name doesn't register with my bluetooth. I voice dialed his phone number...still no connection. I called Holly Rose. My phone always understands her name and called her immediately. She called James at work who told her there is no hidden key on my van. Huh? (Silence...bird's twittering in the background...) What? Why?

Holly and Jeff, dropped their shopping plans and headed from Auburn to Black Diamond (twenty minute drive), dropped the three boys off at home for their naps, and picked up my spare key from the key ring at my house. Then Holly came to Covington, another (twenty minute drive) to rescue me.

Meanwhile, back at the parking lot, I paced around my van in my infamous sweater, my scarf and gloves in a light drizzling rain. (Umbrella visible on the passenger seat, heavy sweatshirt visible on back seat.) Not too bad. I called Noel by voice commands and she entertained me by describing greeting cards she had purchased for several friends who will soon have babies. I was proud to put a guilt trip on Noel, telling her I was in the parking lot because of her birthday gift. She offered to read me some Edgar Alan Poe poetry or Pride and Prejudice, I settled for detailed descriptions of the cards. She offered to call the store with her credit card information so I could do my shopping, but I didn't want to leave the van with the purse advertisiment saying ROB ME. A nice young woman in an electric green car stopped to express her concern for me. She invited me to sit in her warm car, she said she would wait with me until my daughter arrived. I thanked her, but declined, since I knew Holly was almost there. I wish I had taken her up on her offer. Maybe I could have made a new friend. Who knows what I could have learned from her.

Holly Rose arrived, I had been stuck for a little more than an hour. I unlocked my door, jumped in and took off for home. I had lost the desire to get a gift, I had missed the Post Office closing time anyway. I headed for home.

On the way, I noticed a UPS store. Hey, I thought, UPS doesn't close at 2:00! I pulled into the parking lot and checked the hours. They closed at 6:00 for the holidays. (Fanfare and beginning strains of Hallelujah Chorus play here) ALRIGHT! Plan B. Back to my parking lot. I very carefully exited the van holding my keys and my purse tightly. Zoomed into the store, purchased Noel's gift, drove back to the UPS store, had her gift packed and shipped (okay, it will go out Monday and arrive Thursday). Success.

The whole experience made me think about how busy we are. We think we don't have an extra hour. But when forced to spend an hour doing something unplanned, it always works out. Two other stuck and rescued stories come to mind that illuminate this point.

When James was a long haul truck driver, I went on a trip with him one summer. We were headed for home going through the Colorado Rockies. Up ahead was a road work project, as there always is during the summer. Traffic stopped and what started out as a long wait, became an extended event on a mountain road. We learned that the road crew had stopped their work to use some of their heavy equipment to help rescue some rafters who were in peril in the river below us!!! Well, what did we have to complain about? Everyone got out of their cars, trucks, campers and motorhomes. We milled about on the hot roadside. Some petitioned the Coors Beer truck driver to open the back of his truck and supply a roadside party. He declined. The river was too far below us to go wading or swimming. Across the river at our level was a train track. I enjoyed watching several trains come around the bend on what appeared to be a ledge just wide enough for the track, and then disappeared into a tunnel. The road surface we were standing on was beautiful. The aggregate was of pink and blue and gray and yellow stones. Colorado roads have alot of mica in them, so as you drive along the roads sparkle, but I had never seen the road surface up close. We wandered along the roadside, enjoying the various wildflowers and weeds. I was almost embarrassed to be enjoying myself. Many people were crabby and impatient, but James and I had a lovely afternoon together. It was a date we never could have arranged, and will always remember.

The other story took place last week. Three teenage boys were discovered on a remote uninhabited island in Fiji. They were 800 miles off their course (EIGHT HUNDRED MILES that is the equivalent of from my house to Salt Lake City). They had been missing for FIFTY days. Their families back in New Zealand had given them up for dead and had already eulogized them. The fishing boat that rescued them had taken a short cut through the islands. They never went that way (and neither did anyone else). The boys had survived by catching a few fish, drinking a few drops of rainwater and eating a sea gull!!! It hadn't rained for a few days and the boys had begun to drink sea water...DEADLY.

The boys were not stuck for an hour as I was. They did not suffer because their bluetooth wouldn't dial a certain number. They didn't have to get a little cold and wet because instead of the sweater, the heavy sweatshirt was locked in the van. They didn't turn down offers of help because someone else would be along in just a sec. Our lives are busy. There is another world out there. I like to zoom out, step back, see what I can see. Who is in the river? Who is stranded on an uninhabited island? How can I give an hour...to make a difference. And what pretty rocks or weeds or trains will I discover as I step aside from my own microscopic world?

I Love Homework!

I love the beginning of school and wish I was going. Am I weird? I love homework! I remember the disappointment of the first few days of school when I was poised with my pencil at the ready, my blue report cover nearby with it's little brads awaiting neatly organized pages. I wanted a project! I wanted to read and write and launch into some new and interesting study. But alas, my teachers were still on vacation. They gave us text books and had us read the table of contents. They pointed to the chart of classroom rules and explained each new and innovative rule ad nauseum. No cool homework, no fabulous assignment to stretch my tiny little mind.

Did they not know I had a new eraser? One hundred crisp white 3x5 cards were in my little zippered pouch waiting to become a bibliography. My colored pencils were weeping from disuse. My mini stapler was longing to let out that pleasant little ker-thunk as it put the final touch of finishment(sorry, I couldn't think of the right word)on my project.

The sad thing is, I was not a very good student. I usually had about a "C" average, and I do mean average. I got "A"s in English and "D"s in Math and Science. I always felt a little lost about the actual assignments I did receive: How many pages? When is it due? Where am I supposed to find the information? Often the deadline passed without my launching into anything and so, I spent alot of time in a frenzy to turn in sub-standard papers...late.

Luckily after striding through elementary school with my children, I caught on to the system and did really well when I went to college for my LPN degree. Ahhhh, now that's what I'm talking about. Real assignments with real due dates and specific requirements. I loved everything about my classes. Amazingly, the class given on Math for Meds was a favorite of mine. A gifted teacher melted away all of the mystery and gave me the skills I needed to work in the nursing field and successfully and safely care for my patients.

Now, as I drive to work each morning, I watch the little souls waiting at the bus stop. None looks too eager. Heavy backpacks weigh them down. They look sleepy and bored. Is an energizing assignment awaiting them? Will they become engrossed in some new study? Will they get to use their colored pencils and their mini stapler? What will appear between the covers of the blue folder with the little brads?

Fall is here. Leaves are crimson and russet and shriveled tan. The first round of progress reports and parent teacher conferences has passed. Do you know a student of any age who needs encouragement? What experiences have you had that can open the way for them? Share your love of learning. Write a report!

The Library Makes Me Cry

I LOVE the library. I have to hold back tears each time I walk through its doors. No really, I do. Usually, when I leave the library, (having bitten my tongue the whole time I'm in there), I just cry for joy, in the privacy of my own car. I'm never tempted to text message while I'm driving, but I would dearly love to prop a new book on the steering wheel and sneek a peek while I drive. Don't worry, just wishing.

When I was 10, I got a turquoise bike with chrome fenders for my birthday. Freedom. I used to get up early and go ride my bike around Greenlake. I never asked my parents permission and they never batted an eyelash when I came in past breakfast time and informed them I had been several miles away from home, cruising on my bike, but that's another story. On Greenlake Way was a branch of the Seattle Public Library. I loved that place but rarely went inside. My mom was frustrated with trying to keep track of books checked out by her brood and so, paid our fines and cancelled our library cards. On my morning bike rides, I used to stop and sit on the steps and wish I could go inside and get a big stack of books to read. The place wasn't even open at that hour, but I used to wish for library books.

I love the shelves and shelves of books and CDs and DVDs,the smell, the decorations, the stuffed animals, the comfy chairs, the little tables in the children's section, the smiling workers, the clean restroom, the drinking fountain... What other place can you go and walk in and gather up as much stuff as you want from the shelves and take it home with you? Yes, you have to check out your books, and you have to pay a fine if you don't bring them back on time, but this place is free. Anyone can go. And furthermore, I order books online and pick them up from my Black Diamond Library when they are available for me.

I raised my children on the library. When Danny was three we lived in Shelton. It was a HOT summer (check out the temperature records for August/September 1979, record breaking). We would walk to the library, crossing the street several times to stay in the shade as we walked. And then, the cool relief of the LIBRARY. Ahhhh, so nice to sit and read stories and gather up a few to take home. A blessed gift.

Years later, I used to take six small children to the library in Parkland (yes they were all mine). I allowed each child to check out one book per year of age. That was alot of books. I had to fill out a slip of paper for each book: title, author, publisher (why?), copy number etc. Each slip also had my name address and library card number. Wow! I remember corraling a kid between my legs to keep him (probably Christopher) from running noisily through the library. If I had been smart, (which I wasn't) I would have taken a big stack of those check out slips home to fill out my information at my leisure and add the book stuff when we had our stack ready.

When the Spanaway Library was finished, it became our branch with a Computer!!! Woo Hoo! No more slips of paper. At this point, we sometimes took out 80 books a week (remember, we had Noel in our family). I asked the librarian if there was a limit to the number of books we could check out. She said a teacher had recently come in to check out alot of books and the computer had stopped at 150...so we were safe.

I remember seeing a bit in Reader's Digest about a small African Country that was trying to promote literacy. A visitor asked if even though she was not a resident, would she be allowed to check out some books. She was given permission, but when she brought a few books to the counter, she was told she could not take these few books because the library had a 13 book minimum, per person! Now, that's promoting literacy. I love that.

We have a small library in Black Diamond. I sometimes go to the Auburn Library. The Maple Valley Library is a few miles away from home and the Muckleshoot Library is a few miles from my work. I shop in Federal Way and use one of the two libraries there (can't wait until the renovation is finished on the FW Regional Library next week). I love the Bellevue and Issaquah libraries, but I don't get there much with my current work schedule. I take my nanny babies to the Enumclaw Library and while their mom is at physical therapy, you can find us at the Covington library, so there you have my libraries of choice.

Anne, Laura, Jurgis, Kunta Kinte, Corrie, Precious, Jim, Caddie, Clifford, Horton, Abigail, this list could be pages long. I have met and love and hated so many people in library books. I have learned from all of them.

Cook books, decorating books, craft and pattern books, gardening books, picture books (yes, for me, not necessarily for the children in my life), foreign language training CDs, novels, and my friends on CD to keep me company in the car. Yummy, delicious and free. One of the most uplifting places in my world. I LOVE THE LIBRARY!!! Thank you Benjamin Franklin

My Navel Orange Experience

I fasted yesterday for spiritual reasons. I fasted today for medical reasons. (I did eat dinner last night after church.) This morning, I zoomed to Federal Way to have my lab work done, without eating a piece of James' utterly fabulous chocolate cake with ultra fudgy frosting for breakfast (or anything else for that matter). Had my blood draw done, got my cotton ball and tape on my arm and headed to the grocery for a little shopping.

Little is the operative word. With my head swimming with hunger, I couldn't think of anything I needed, but I wanted something to eat, but what? (Are all of my blog posts going to be about me going without food? I need to discuss that with my counselor....oh wait, first I need to get a counselor) Odwalla chocolate protein drink??? Wow more than 400 calories per bottle! A little cup of fruit? Nah, looks overprocessed and it's packed in syrup instead of juice. Yum, those strawberries smelled good, but how can I eat them without washing them (it's a 30 minute drive home). I don't eat bananas in their un-banana breaded form. What else can you eat without washing? An orange?

I like oranges, but they are a gamble. Sometimes fruity and tart and juicy and sometimes bland and pithy and yuk. I chose the heaviest, smallest orange I could find, added a loaf of bakery black bread and yanked a quart of fat free milk out of the dairy case, they didn't have any pints.

I sat in my car in the parking lot, watching the Douglas firs across the street waving in the very gusty wind. They were so beautiful against the blue with the wispy clouds barrelling across the sky behind them. I peeled my orange, it smelled so good, kinda like Christmas, I opened my milk, pulled out a slice of that chewy dark bread. I turned on my CD story book, and enjoyed a perfect orange, a delicious slice of bread and sips of milk straight from the carton.

What is the point of this story? No point, just wanted to tell you I had a really good orange today.

Hot and Bubbly vs Cold and Crunchy

Once or twice a week, I cook a nice dinner for my Nanny Family. The mommy loved to cook before her incident and she has some lovely recipes. So we plan for the family favorites and I throw in some of my own and we put out some nice meals. They are very generous and offer to have me "take some home", but I always feel funny about it and anyway, it's nice for the mommy to have some leftovers for her lunch.

So as I drive home, visions of hot and bubbly dance in my head. I think about those nice pork chops and seasoned rice, or that beautiful roasted chicken or a steak stir fry, that I just left behind. Herbs and spices, roasted asparagus, a nice little sauce...

I am tired when I get home at about 6:30, so the idea of launching into another meal preparation is nix. So I open the pantry and what do I see? Mmmm, shredded wheat (actually, it's mini spooners in a bag, but we call it shredded wheat [sorry Post]), and that's what I usually have for dinner. Now, I like shredded wheat. Don't get me wrong, but it is not exactly hot and bubbly. We are told to breakfast like a King, lunch like a Princess and dinner like a Pauper, so I guess I'm on the right track, but it's a little dispiriting to finish the day with cold and crunchy.

Every week I plan to feed myself better, but tiredness and time constraints get in the way of my well planned list. And, bless his heart, James is on his own, most of the time. So, onward...I'll just keep trying. I know having everything thawed and prepared in advance is the key. That's what Saturday is for. I did buy a rice cooker with a timer and I continue to work on my relationship with the crock pot. We're in counselling together and he is being a little more giving lately.

So, here is my plan for the coming week:

Salmon and asparagus with roasted garlic potatos (leftover potatos from Sunday dinner)

Curried chicken and rice (crockpot)

Snow pea and radish stir-fry with peanuts (prepare the veggies in advance) What should I serve with this? Soba noodles in chicken broth with julienne carrots and scallions? Yes.

Lemon herb chicken picatta (pound the chicken and leave it marinating, add frozen veggies)

OK, my friends, I will report back on my adventure in "Hot and Bubbly" land. If you have any advice, or desire to drop casseroles on my doorstep or serve me a plate while I'm tucked in to my bed watching Evening Magazine and Jeopardy, feel free. Or my shredded wheat an I will continue our little tete a tete each evening at 6:30.