Sunday, March 28, 2010

Shallow vs Deep

I guess this post is kind of a disclaimer. I find myself editing my posts as I write them, not really saying what I could say, or might want to say, because I might be misunderstood or hurt feelings etc. Such was the case when I listed some characteristics of my children. Would they be surprised at how I view them? Would I say more about one child and less about another? I would love to bare my soul and just say what I think, but as with all things in life we do need to apply some kind of filter.

My filter leads to my postings seeming shallow to me. ("You're kidding" my reader thinks "She's whining about spoons and forks?") So, in an effort to be a little less shallow, I will attempt to adjust the filter, to take a step deeper and see if I can express myself without whacking anyone on the head.

The disclaimer is that I would never intentionally injure any of my loved ones, and hope I never do. If you read, and get a little bruised, consider the source. The source being just me, someone who loves you, thinking out loud.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Lovin', Wishin' and Makin' It Happen

I love the lives of my children and there are seven of them, so there's alot to love.

*Jennifer shares the stories of motherhood and raising those 4 girls with me. She is a great photographer. I enjoy Jen's sarcasm. She has a spunky outlook on the world. I also love that even being a half sister, she and Holly and Noel share some similar traits and expressions. They are great together.

*Dan is here there and everywhere. He always has a new tale to tell and he always encourages me when I think I "CAN'T". Hold your sides when you see him coming because you will start laughing and you won't stop until three days after he's left. He is big, and warm, and beautiful, and irreverant and compassionate.

*Andrew calls me to ask nursing questions, I usually don't know the answer, but we brainstorm together and he usually finds the answer himself. I'm sure he is a better nurse than I am. Andrew loves his wife and he is the best daddy.

*Noel and I share a certain sweet friendship. She knows what is inside of me and I kinda get what's going on in her. We share a love for books and food. She cooks great food. Noel has an amazing circle of friends who let me in when I visit, or when they visit me. Some of them even let me be their facebook friends.

*Evan, Evan, Evan. A great man who loves his mom and his wife and his rope and his shoes and his car and his truck and his truck (ok, he sold one truck) and adventure and adrenalin and the gospel and... He loves life. Evan is also headed for a nursing career, so that will make five in the family.

*Christopher. Hmmm, pause, think,... Christopher. Yes, he is. I have never known a more intense person. He thinks. He is an unusual man when it comes to planning his life. He really does look to the future and make things happen. There is a list. He is check marking the list. He loves his children, but they have not arrived yet. He loved his wife before he knew her. He planned his home, but he doesn't have it yet. Like I said, he thinks. Christopher is my only child who has attended a mandatory class for people who have been shot in the chest on the job. I love the Marines!

*Holly Rose. Emily used to call her my sidekick, and she is. We are phone friends. I call my phone "The Holly Phone", because when it rings, it's her. Holly bails me out when I'm over my head. She is sensible and compassionate and can put tab B into slot A when I can't figure it out. Holly Rose is a way better mother than I was at her age. She just gets it.

*Jennifer (yes I have 2 Jennifers) She adopted me and I adopted her. She has become family. Stalwart. She is always there if I need her. I don't know how she does all that she does. When I hear about all the help she gives others I wonder if there are two of her (uh oh, that would make three Jennifers). She is crazily putting a vegetable garden in my back yard!

Don't get me started on the in-laws. How did we get so lucky or so blessed? Wes, Emily, Sarah, Jeff, Jerell. I could write a whole post about each of them...another day.

Interacting with my 10 plus 2 grandchildren is the best thing I have ever done. Hailey, Piper, Darby, Phoebe, Cayden, Jordan, Alexander, Graysen, Megan and Colton, plus Emily and Hudson are delights in my life. Seven are near, 5 are far, but all of their lives are filled with wonderful escapades. Once again, another post another day.

This is my life and my love, my family.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Joie de Vivre

I am trying to figure it out, and have been trying to figure it out for many years. This problem is certainly not unique to me. How do I have it all and do it all? How do I show my love for my family and friends and fulfill my obligations to work, church, chores, appointments and do some things that I just want to do for fun?

When I say have it all I do not mean "stuff". I have more stuff than I want. I love my home (though I do dream about having one huge room that will fit everyone I want to feed). I have a nice granny van complete with baby carseats and boosters. I have plenty of clothes, the sewing I do is not because I need a new dress, it's because I love to create.


*Being able to fit in a vegetable garden (don't have one). I am away from home for 12hours a day. I work from can't see to can't see for many months of the year.

*Spend time with my more distant grandchildren. Being a grandmother is more than sending a birthday card and a Christmas box. I miss the Baker girls so much. They used to be able to come for weekends, but I can't get them and return them anymore.

*Keep my house neater. I just keep my head above water. If I was willing to be a minimalist and get rid of my books and fabric and crayons(mine, not the grandchildren's)and Japanese dishes, and two kinds of potatos, and 5 pounds of onions, and three jars of herb tea, and library books,...My house would be tidy, but then I would cease to be me.

*Read. I remember my mom asking me how I had time to read so much, well, I stayed home with my children and we didn't have a TV. While the children read or played, I read (usually while stirring a pot). Now most of my reading is snatches and I listen to my "storybooks" in the car. I relish an all day read-a-thon. Maybe I'll put one on the calendar.

*I want to visit my Mom more often. I do not want to look back on this time, that I am giving service elsewhere, and say, I missed precious years with her. I am grateful for our phone conversations. We usually talk long and roundabout on every subject, but it is not the same as a visit.

Mostly, I want the people I love to know that I love them, and for life to be organized and peaceful.

Once again, I'm ranting and raving and as Andrew used to say "There's just no answer." It's just a matter of planning, preparing, and doing the best I can and enjoying the journey.

Joie de Vivre

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Insomniac ramblings to a daughter who works night shift and loves me anyway

Hi Noellie,

I am crazy awake. I need to go back to bed for 1 1/2 hours so I can be 'sponsible while driving the mommy to the Dr. today. We are also going to Storables at U Village. We need stuff to organize the girl's toys so Nanny doesn't have to pick them up all the time. The daddy doesn't want plastic bins, they are not super cool mid century designer stuff. I told the mommy it would be lovely to get 40 handmade Navajo baskets for the kids' Happy Meal toys, but it might be a little out of the price range, sooo I think we are getting a bunch of plastic bins. Sorry daddy.

We are also going to Trophy Cupcakes at U Village. I have made a promise to myself to buy ONLY ONE. No, seriously, one cupcake, so the thing better be awesome.

I just ordered a bunch of stuff I needed from the Church Catalog. That was fun. Children's Songbook CDs in French and Spanish. Cool! They have had the books before, but not the CDs.

I want to write a note to Yvonne Gronberg. She frequently sends me stuff, I never respond. Rude! I compose notes to her in my head, but unfortunately, (or fortunately for both of us) she's not in there. Can you tell I'm really wierd at 3:30 AM?

Christopher is sick on ship, but hopefully getting better. He said he is one of at least 10 sickies on board, but his sx were the worst. Three litres of IV fluids and IV and PO anti nausea RX. Still weak and dizzy, but back at work.

Danny called me on Monday--Mega Migraine times a week and a half. I told him maybe he has a brain bleed from his fighting. He said he had been knocked out two weeks ago, but that's no big deal, it happens all the time. Cool, just what a mother wants to hear. After more discussion he decided it might be his jaw. Long story short, one hour massage, one hour chiropractor and one more hour massage, no more headache. Nice.

OK, I'm goin' back to bed for an hour.

Did you see that I started a blog? Check it out. I am very proud of the fact that I have one follower...Katie. Don't tell me if you hate it, just say something nice and polite.

Love Your Tired Insomniac Mom


Love Mommy

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Forks and Spoons

We call it silverware, but it's stainless steel. I guess steelware doesn't sound that good. I know I'm wierd, but I like my little fork. I have Reed and Barton French Floral Silverware in the left hand drawer that we use all the time, but I have a potpurri of hand-me-down and thrift store "silver"ware in the right hand drawer. I use it for cooking and cereal and my favorite little fork for cake. My daughter-in-law, Sarah, goes through the forks to find the one whose handle balances best in her hand. She likes a certain feel to her fork. I love her for that.

Not that long ago, I made Evan go to the thrift store to buy more spoons. It was a punishment. He insists he did not lose my spoons while he was living here, but where may I ask did they go? I used to have two spoons monogrammed with "P". We called them the "P" spoons and they are gone. This is significant, because I have two grand-daughters with "P" initials. Piper Rose and Phoebe. They loved to use the "P" spoons when they stayed overnight at grandma's house. Where did my "P" spoons go? The other thing that makes the "P" spoons special is their origin. Once aponce a time (no, it's not a typo, that's how our children always liked their stories begun)....we invited a family over for a soup dinner after church (I can't remember if it was chicken and dumplings or minestrone, but I can remember that it was cooked in my turkey roaster.) I told Denise that we would love to have her family of four for dinner, but could they please bring spoons, because we didn't have enough. (This is long before Reed and Barton) So, Denise and brood came for dinner bearing their own personal spoons. After supper she asked if she could take my turkey roaster home and bring soup the following Sunday. I agreed, and the next week, she brought a delicious giant pot of potato soup and a big bunch of spoons bound with a rubber band, from the thrift store. In that bunch were the "P" spoons. I so appreciated Denise's gift and I have enjoyed those spoons ever since, except that now the "P" spoons are gone.

When our children were little, we used to lose spoons in the garden. They always had something they had to dig up, like a china hippopotamus (but that's a different story). When they got older, we lost our spoons (and Tupperware)in their cars. Before Evan and Sarah got married I made him clean out all of his cars (2 or 3!) and find my spoons. There was Tupperware, but no spoons. So I am sad for my "P" spoons, but whatever, it's just a spoon and this is not Haiti or Chile, so what am I griping about?

But, for those of you who go to thrift stores (I don't very often) could you check out the silverware bins and see if they have any "P" spoons or for that matter "S" or "E" or "J". I will pay for them and come and get them, well, not to Texas, but I'll pay postage for them.