I am trying to figure it out, and have been trying to figure it out for many years. This problem is certainly not unique to me. How do I have it all and do it all? How do I show my love for my family and friends and fulfill my obligations to work, church, chores, appointments and do some things that I just want to do for fun?
When I say have it all I do not mean "stuff". I have more stuff than I want. I love my home (though I do dream about having one huge room that will fit everyone I want to feed). I have a nice granny van complete with baby carseats and boosters. I have plenty of clothes, the sewing I do is not because I need a new dress, it's because I love to create.
HAVING IT ALL MEANS:
*Being able to fit in a vegetable garden (don't have one). I am away from home for 12hours a day. I work from can't see to can't see for many months of the year.
*Spend time with my more distant grandchildren. Being a grandmother is more than sending a birthday card and a Christmas box. I miss the Baker girls so much. They used to be able to come for weekends, but I can't get them and return them anymore.
*Keep my house neater. I just keep my head above water. If I was willing to be a minimalist and get rid of my books and fabric and crayons(mine, not the grandchildren's)and Japanese dishes, and two kinds of potatos, and 5 pounds of onions, and three jars of herb tea, and library books,...My house would be tidy, but then I would cease to be me.
*Read. I remember my mom asking me how I had time to read so much, well, I stayed home with my children and we didn't have a TV. While the children read or played, I read (usually while stirring a pot). Now most of my reading is snatches and I listen to my "storybooks" in the car. I relish an all day read-a-thon. Maybe I'll put one on the calendar.
*I want to visit my Mom more often. I do not want to look back on this time, that I am giving service elsewhere, and say, I missed precious years with her. I am grateful for our phone conversations. We usually talk long and roundabout on every subject, but it is not the same as a visit.
Mostly, I want the people I love to know that I love them, and for life to be organized and peaceful.
Once again, I'm ranting and raving and as Andrew used to say "There's just no answer." It's just a matter of planning, preparing, and doing the best I can and enjoying the journey.
Joie de Vivre
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